There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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