if you like me you must not know who I am
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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