My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
