You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
