This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
