you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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