I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I smell like Dick and happiness
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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