We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
