she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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