i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
