I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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