you turned your livingroom into a bong?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
