In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Alive.
So much puke
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
