i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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