I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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