Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
