I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
