This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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