Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize