Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
