? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
