Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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