Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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