too bad you live with your parents still
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
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I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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