maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
