i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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