I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
