He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
