my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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