and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Boobs are out for the taking
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
