okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
