You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
