is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
