you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
