eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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