ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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