I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize