he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
