Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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