cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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