Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
