I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
