strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
