I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
