I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
