I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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