i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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