and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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