Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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