So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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