I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
