using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
