im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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