erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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